TOP SECRET CONSPIRACY

YOUR POSTAL CARRIERS: AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL THREAT?

• Posted: 02/18/09 By jfreedman
• Comments (2)

Special delivery... of mind controlling outerspace horror!

As I’ve pointed out many times before, you don’t have to look far to find proof of extraterrestrial life. Sometimes, it can be right in front of you—like on your front porch, delivering your mail.

Like many folks, I have a weird mailman. He delivers packages at odd times (6pm?), sometimes doesn’t wear his uniform.  I saw him in sweat-pants once walking around my local grocer.  Followed him for 2 hours but didn't get any more info. Currently, of the 5 crimes I suspect him of, I suspect him of violating the most heinous crime a postal worker can commit: reading my mail.

Case in point: before this mailman started working my route, my issue of “Watch the Skies” newsletter used to arrive promptly every Friday. Every since my new mail carrier started, however, the magazine doesn’t show up until Saturday or even Monday. My theory? Mr. Mailman is bringing my magazine home and reading it over the weekend.

Why would he do this, you ask? Why would a Postal worker be interested in extraterrestrials? Ask yourself… who benefits? Who profits?

Extraterrestrials want to find out every single thing we know about them, and what better way than to read our mail?

Let me ask you something: why is it that dogs always bark at the mailman, but not at the paperboy? It’s because dogs have a natural ability to spot evil, even if they are disguised as a friendly postal worker.

So the next time you hear footsteps on your front porch, and the familiar clink-clank of your mailbox, take a good, long look at whoever is delivering your mail. Chances are, it could be a special delivery from the extraterrestrial express.