HUMAN/ROACH HYBRIDS

A source close to TSC has tipped us off to their information about a government experiment fusing humans and cockroaches.  An extremely secret and remote fusion laboratory has been housing these ongoing experiments for years – and now it is leaking out to the American public.  The source claims that the US government could potentially be working on a "Roach solider" that would survive all combat including nuclear war but be more vulnerable to chemical attacks.

Artist depiction of the terrifying threat hiding underneath the couch of citizen complacency.

Our source – who claims to have been a Maintenance and Sterilization Technician (i.e., a janitor) for a network of government labs, has provided a startling description.

Apparently, the project originated with a government mandate to create indestructible super-soldiers.  While various branches were developing mechanical exo-skeletons, fast-twitch muscle enhancement, eyeball implants, and all the usual 21st century fun stuff, one particularly diabolical department focused on cockroaches.  High on the indestructible rating, cockroaches could be the perfect weapons.  Research documents from 1989, depict a cockroach colony, remotely controlled by an Amiga computer, lining up in formation and attacking stationary targets. Allegedly, the colony rapidly evolved beyond the capacity to be controlled, and attacked the scientists.

It was suggested in darker scientific circles, that the only way cockroach super soldiers could be controlled would be by using a human brain.  In one disturbing report, a handful of cockroaches are tethered by wire to the brain of a recently dead soldier.

The “Fusion Project” was initiated to combine the DNA of Cockroaches and humans into one fully realized biological entity.  Many failed experiments resulted in thousands of dead cockroaches, as well as dozens of human “volunteers,” who wound up dead, disabled, or deformed – further reports suggest shocking outcomes of men with antennae, malformed exoskeletons, and other horrific mutations.

Some have claimed the project has been shuttered for years.   Others point to specific redacted sections of documents.  Using "enhanced photo analysis techniques" and some unorthodox methods, they have been able to pull confidential information from the docs.  One section seems to say that the experiment resulted in "horrific failures" because “certain genetic insect data was unable to be processed correctly.”  But our source maintains that in fact, the experiments successfully produced a man-cockroach fusion, an entity so frightening and dangerous, that command central refused to let the experiments continue.

13 Comments to “HUMAN/ROACH HYBRIDS”

  • Comment By Floogles on 01/13/09 3:34 pm

    NUKE IT FROM ORBIT. GAME OVER MAN!!!!

  • Comment By Win-D on 01/13/09 5:45 pm

    As citizens we must pull together and build the biggest damn can of RAID ever. It's the only way.

  • Comment By OrcaFat on 01/13/09 8:22 pm

    I support our troops. I would even let them eat out of my garbage cans.

    Of course on the upside, now America can truly win any nuclear war.

  • Comment By Rebel-a-salt on 01/13/09 9:54 pm

    I'm going to buy the biggest stomping boots ever.

  • Comment By BrideofZilla on 01/14/09 1:03 pm

    Am I the only one who thinks the horrible roach soldier thingy is actually kind of cute? Probably because I'm warped like that.

  • Comment By jfreedman on 01/14/09 1:18 pm

    OrcaFat: I would imagine these roach soldiers are fed a high powered diet of proteins and nutrients, but should one escape I would think you might spot them near your garbage cans. We should consider a staking out high profile easily found garbage locations. The ideal spot would be near a military research facility yet concealed by enough darkness that a roachman could go undetected.

  • Comment By Sabre_Justice on 02/02/09 5:50 am

    I'd hit it.

  • Comment By Yoda on 03/26/09 12:51 pm

    The government is just making sure our soldiers can survive a nuclear war.

  • Comment By GarykPatton on 06/15/09 9:44 pm

    I have been looking looking around for this kind of information. Will you post some more in future? I'll be grateful if you will.

  • Comment By The Conspiracy Religion | Top Secret Conspiracy on 06/30/09 2:18 pm

    [...] Human/Roach Hybrids A source close to TSC has tipped us off to their information about a government experiment fusing humans and cockroaches. An extremely secret and remote fusion laboratory has been housing these ongoing experiments for years – and now it is leaking out to the American public. The source claims that the US government could potentially be working on a “Roach solider” that would survive all combat including nuclear war but be more vulnerable to chemical attacks. Share and Enjoy: [...]

  • Comment By KonstantinMiller on 07/06/09 10:47 am

    How soon will you update your blog? I'm interested in reading some more information on this issue.

  • Comment By Richard J McPhalrin on 07/13/09 11:51 pm

    Hey
    Human/Roach Hybrids, great article, really well though out and very much enjoyed.

    Cheers

  • Comment By eeeMan on 07/17/09 1:46 pm

    Pooooooh !
    And through what kind of reproduction
    will this hybrid species will survive
    a nuclear war ?
    billion eggs for one soldier ?
    Aaaaaargh !

You can use these tags in your comments:
<a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>

PREVIEW

Comment Policy: We welcome your comments, however all comments are moderated. Offensive, off-topic or fraudulent comments will be deleted and not displayed. By submitting a comment, you agree to having your name displayed with your comment and that you are 13 years old or older. Your name and personal information will not be used for any other purpose, and your e-mail address will not be published.

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here and in any corresponding comments are the personal opinions of the original authors.